this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
