Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize