Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Randomize
