is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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