I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
