dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
