i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize