I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
My feet surprised me
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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