she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
