So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
tell me about the fingering
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
