What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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