so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
