Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
