ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
