I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
