Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
