...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
