Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
it's not cheating when I paid for it
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
