How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
