how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
