I bet he comes in French.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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