it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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