I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
