I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
