bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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