I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
