drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
How does one acquire holy water?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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