My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
