why didn't you poke me back
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
