you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
