i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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