i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I am mentally ready for anal.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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