Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
