if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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