and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
