YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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