somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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