I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
