69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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