Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
