I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
