That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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