dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
