did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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