That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
