Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
