there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
