Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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