Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize