can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
