dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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