No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You need a sexual gate keeper
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
