Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
