You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
