And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
