I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
