Is it normal to miss your booty call?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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