Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
