this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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